Images that are buried deep will always find a way back to you. You’re 21 and in a museum. You see a marble, and then you’re 5. You’re 5 again and standing in front of the vase of marbles in your aunt’s house that you will soon begin to swallow. The same aunt that you wished were your God mother before you understood what a God mother was, so you ask your mom if your aunt can be your God mother. You don’t understand why she reacts the way she did. Now you do, now you’re 21 and standing in a museum looking at a marble, and you’re sad. A marble made you sad.
Buried images will do this to you. They will take you places you did not know existed. This can be dangerous. You need to watch out. You need to keep your eyes closed and your mind shut. Do not go looking for them, because you’ll be 21 and you’ll drop a beer bottle on the ground, and you’ll see the pieces of broken glass. Then you’re 5, and it’s May, and your mom is screaming, and your uncle is holding you in front of a sink of running water, and your dad is telling your mom to stop screaming, and there’s blood everywhere. These images will snatch you up, they will take you from where you are and put you back where you came from.
They never tell you what came first. These images are you playing in the park, eating with your left hand, screaming in front of a blood filled sink, walking up steps, red popsicles, red koolaid, falling us the steps, red hamburger buns, red knees, red concrete, red hands. They are the car ride to the hospital, they are not knowing whether you passed out, blacked out, or fell asleep.
Buried images are everything happening at once but not anymore. Do not be fooled by the fact that they are called images. They come with sound and feeling. They are being 21 and remembering the image you didn’t know you had of a piece of glass wedged through your thumb. Then you’re 7 and you’re arguing with a friend about how you can say ring finger but not thumb finger. So now you’re 5 and 7 and 21.
Images sit still and move at the same time, they never let you know which one they’ll be doing. They bang on your surface but cannot rise, they become the way you feel when you can’t remember the word on the tip of your tongue that you never knew. They are fleeting and ever present at the same time. Do not believe a thing you see, buried images are often full of lies. They are looking down at your bloody hand in the bathroom sink but looking into the mirror and seeing your sister’s face.